The Stages of Writing a Journal Entry
(A Totally Serious, Extremely Scientific Breakdown)
1. The “Nothing Happened
Today” Declaration
You open your journal, stare at
the page, and conclude that your life is so uneventful it could be used as a
sleep aid.
2. The Sudden Overshare
Five minutes later, you’re
pouring out your entire emotional history, three unresolved grudges, and a rant
about something that happened in 2014. So much for “nothing happened.”
3. The Dramatic Narrator Phase
You start writing like you’re the
protagonist of a Victorian novel. Everything becomes “a most curious turn of
events,” even if it was just you losing your keys again.
4. The Existential Detour
You pause mid‑sentence to
question your purpose, your goals, your habits, and whether you should start
meditating or buy a houseplant. You write none of this down coherently.
5. The Tangent Tornado
You begin describing your day,
then somehow end up listing your grocery needs, analyzing a dream you barely
remember, and planning a future you’ll forget about by tomorrow.
6. The Hand Cramp Crisis
Your hand suddenly decides it has
had enough of your emotional monologue. You consider switching to typing, but
that feels illegal for journaling, so you suffer nobly.
7. The “This Is Actually
Pretty Insightful” Moment
You reread a paragraph and think,
“Wow, I’m kind of wise.” You briefly imagine future historians studying your
journal like it’s a sacred text.
8. The Abrupt Ending
You get tired, distracted, or
hungry and end the entry with something like “Anyway, I’ll finish this later,”
knowing full well you absolutely will not.
